Married+Opposite sex Friends=RULE BOOK!

Please, TAKE the time to tell me what you think about the opposite sex, being a close friend of yours. Have you ever really taken the time to think about, what the consequences might be, or What it could mean to you, if something does happen?

Here's my thoughts on the matter.

It's perfectly acceptable, in the 21st century. The incredible amount of growth, society itself has come upon, a great amount of leniency. Thank goodness. Because, If I had been best friends with a guy, back say, 20, 30 yrs ago, (purely based on hearsay, not knowledge, because well, let's face it, i'm clearly only 23), I am SURE it would have created SO many more problems.

Yes, While, it's acceptable nowadays, IS IT SMART?
Smart? Is That even a thing, of this generation? I look around me, and All I seem to be able to see, is, Laziness, obtuseness, and Even lacking any real motivation. I swear to whoever I believe in, I think we all sit around, and do what we like, and if we don't have what we like, we wait for someone to do it for us. Really?
Anyway, Back to the point, Is Being friends, with the opposite sex, WHILE you're Married, or in an otherwise, committed relationship, Smart?
I really, haven't decided this quite yet. While, I have one myself, I certainly think, we've made a few errors along the way. Which, I DO think, are entirely avoidable, Which, IS why, I've decided, a FEW rules, for such a friendship, Should absolutely, be in play. 

I have a best friend, that we'll Jacob. Now, My friend, and I love other people. Don't get me wrong, we love each other as well, but, As far as ROMANTIC LOVE, it remains to be absent in this platonic relationship.

Let's create some rules together. For everyone to follow. I'm going over what I have so far. NO, These rules I don't believe, are in any kind of order, I'm kind of just winging it here.

RULE #1: The absolute thing I'm sure of, Is, Be aware of both sides of boundaries. It's 100% avoidable, to feel like, you HAVE to do anything, just because of the gender of said comrade. Which, I don't know about any other girls, But sometimes, social conformity has lead me to believe that I have to act a certain way, because there's a "gentleman present", or because, males, are the alpha sex, of this world. Want to have a friend, of the opposite sex, while you're otherwise committed? Have boundaries, and be aware of what your friend is ok with, and NOT ok with.

Rule #2: What's your motive? IF you don't know, DECIDE! Is your motive, to have that relationship? Close buds? Or... is your motive, a back up, in case your current commitment, fails? I can say, I've honestly, kept a close relationship in the past because, I thought, maybe, my relationship wouldn't work out, and this could be my backup. Which, Was TERRIBLE. Because, clearly, neither of those relationships worked out anyway. If your motive, isn't 100% great, DON'T commit to anything with that friend. Don't... say, completely ignore the pour soul, BUT, just, don't find yourself in a vulnerable situation, you may otherwise regret. Originally, My motive for being friends with Jacob, was, because I felt responsible for him. I felt like, I needed to be there for him whenever  he needed me, to vent, or, if he needed me to help him along with something, I wanted to be that person. I wanted to help him, and be his friend.
My Motives, have since, changed, and flip flopped, however, RIGHT now, they remain, to keep close to him, so if he needs anything, He could come to me. I have this craving, to be able to help people whenever I can. Which, yes, I know, admitting out loud, could prove poor for myself, however, That's my thing. I LOVE helping. My 2nd personal motive, for this particular relationship is, I LOVE having this guy friend, I can count on, TO respect my boundaries, which, let's all face it, IS SOOOO hard to come by right now. Legit MEN. While this may prove easier for some girls, it's not easy for me to find someone who does end up trying to disrespect me somehow. Jacob, is a pure soul. He won't ever act that way. So, Recap? Decide if your motive, is 100% honest with everyone involved.

 Rule #3: Tell your committed other, EVERYTHING. NO secrets. Why would you do that anyway? It's uncalled for. My husband, truthfully, knows everything about my friendship with Jacob. He tells me how he feels about it, and, tells me he trusts Jacob. What's funny, is, I've personally given my husband, reason to NOT trust Jacob and I alone, but, that's a story I'll keep to myself, and laugh about later. ;) BUT, the point is, Is I tell him, everything, and to be honest, it's helpful. It's very helpful to talk about a relationship like this, to someone else. It SHOULD be your committed other, but, outside opinions, always offer insight to me, whether I admit it at the time or not. If there are concerns about a relationship that someone has, they should be out and in the open, and taken seriously.

 Those are the rules I've decided upon, however, I Do have a few ideas for more, and I'll be able to think about them more clearly, in the future. I believe that  spending time, with the opposite sex, who isn't your significant other, CAN be healthy, but it needs to be legit, and carefully thought out.

What are your ideas and concerns about having friends of the opposite sex, while otherwise committed?

NO matter what you do, realize, that open honesty is always needed, and mistakes will still always be made. However, Following a certain set of rules(not necessarily mine), can help avoid, tragedy, heartbreak, and emotional distress of a terrible kind.