Newest Stuff. I've been pretty depressed lately! I'm just gonna come out and say it. I've got some serious depression. I haven't been on meds for awhile, but now i'm considering getting back on. Some of you know what happened, some didn't. This is just gonna be like my journal. Each day goes by when i think, what would life be like, if I had had a baby? Would i feel this pain? Or would that child, help me to be happy! Sometimes, it's painful to think about. other times, helps me the hell out. Lately, i've been considering, adopting? Kinda wanna see what my options are ya know? And then, sometimes i'm like, you know what, i'm happy the way things are. I can wait a few years. We have 2 bedrooms right now, and one of them, is full of furniture, and baby stuff.

Also, My kitty. Growing as fast as a kitten should be. She's like my baby right now. :))

<---

McCord and I are totally excited for the fall semester to start. Today, i was actually offered a full time job at the preschool I've substituted at, and i'm thinking i'll turn it down. Then, tomorrow, one more job meeting to finally discuss what the hell i'm gonna be doing. This has been a busy week. I'm so tired all the time.

I've been much more social lately, and there's the few people who are helping and being mom like to me. I really appreciate them so much. 3 in particulaur. Pamela, Beth, and Wendy. It hurts so bad that I don't have a close mom to share this kind of relationship with, and then they help me through the hard times. I really wish i could have both sometimes. Is that selfish? I want a real mom. But i love them also. I'm not sure what to think. I lived with this lady, Janey once. I screwed that up horribly. She was the one foster mom who loved and understood me, and she gave me a consequence and i begged to leave. I really wish that Janey had still been my foster mom til i was 19. Would have done a lot freakin better than Kathie. I was MISERABLE with her! I wish i never asked to leave. I miss Janey so bad and sometimes, i wish i could just hug her. If only she knew, that i loved her. I can't tell her tho. I'm like way too chicken. Well, actually i'm scared of her not caring back you know? Kinda odd to say, you know, i love you like a mom, well, you kinda left me so i don't love you like a daughter. That's the conversation i don't want. Jajaja.

McCord and I are having thoughts about buying a house? Anyone know anything? I'd love to, but don't want to get screwed over.

Well, i think that's enough for tonight!

talk to you soon internet. Jajaja.

Hey there!

So lately, i've been a little baby hungry? And...wanted to express my...hungernesS? lol. Anyway, how are you? lately, my depression has been tons better. The ppd is a little over now...so that's like totally helping my work and whatnot. I'm doing pretty good in class and hopefully a- is the lowest grade i'll be getting. :0

My brother slept over last night which was cool cuz i hadn't spent a lot of time with him lately. yay family time. haha.

well, gotta go. lagoon was friggan top notes and i'll be back tonight! woo!

expect some more pics dudes!

Lagoon baby!

WOo! I get to go to Lagoon on Friday!

August will be a craaaazzy month. :)

So, McCord and I just got home from a couple day's in Strawberry Resivoir. While I had fun seeing the family and getting to know them a little better, i'm glad to be home. (I'm not the camping type.)

McCord and I have a busy Schedule for this month. His buddy Kyle Whiting, will be getting married, so their wedding is something we're planning. Our friend Kilee, has a birthday, that SAME day. A few days later, it will be our 1st anniversary. :) We're excited. this BBQ should be fun. Food and Games? What could be better eh? Then, fall semester at UVU starts and we need to make sure that all our finances are in order. We may be moving again, managment here at Courtside Condominiums, are absolutley horrible, and... probably planning trips.


McCords family is all here and My family is scattered elsewhere across the globe. What i'd really like, is for us to be able to afford to go to Mexico and visit with everyone. However, if that's not possible, i may go to dallas and visit with my 2 cousins, Iveth and Tania, and then my Auntie Loli, and My 2 uncles, Mario and Pepe. I'm a very family person, and when i'm away i start to miss everyone. :) If i go to mexico, i am sure i can convince my dad and his wife, terri, to go with. Then it would be perfect for me to be with Everyone i love.

Anyway, I hope that's possible for us. If so, we'll be going to Mexico for Christmas. Any and all donations accepted! :)) Let me know if you want our bank details.