What is happiness?

A question, no doubt, we've all pondered. A question, that every single person, on this earth, has a different answer to. A question, no one, can answer, for anyone else. One, that even I, don't know the answer to, for myself.

I've cut myself off from blogging for a good reason. I tend to get all... emotional and no one ever really needs to know what's going on in my life. Not through a blog. It's sad how we end up relying on social networks... to fix our social lives. How we, use them, to cure our loneliness, or use them to find out, is this person still alive? Remember, the old fashioned... Phone call??? Letter? Where did those go?

The 1st year, is definitely not the hardest year of marriage for McCord and I. For us, it's the 3rd. (SO Far..) and... impressively that took an interesting turn, seeing as how... it just started. Not to get into details, no one needs those anymore, seeing as how, it's really no one's business.... but, prayers, are always welcome. McCord, and I, love each other... so much. It's just... so hard, for someone like me, to be in a relationship, consistently, for so long, (This is my longest) And, have it be a happy one. True to my ways, I've gone to places these past few months, I can't take back, or change. Anyway, my point is, we're still working things out, and it's not easy.

One of my only TRUE friends right now, is with us. As a roommate. The blessings that have come from that are capricious to say the least. I doubt he'll ever read this, so I can say whatever I want and have him not get mad.... ;))) Goofiest kid ever. Definitely Helps you understand life a different way. He's the best. The optimism that comes from such a sad person, is wondrous. I can't believe it. I wish I could be like that. 

Anyway, there's the update. That hasn't happened for months out of fear for spilling too much, or venting in the wrong way.... :)


BTW... happiness, to me.... right now, is having a Boy..like Xander... love me unconditionally. I don't think I would be here if he wasn't here. That kid, just gives me a reason to want to be alive.